at the First Congregational Church of Stoughton

United Church of Christ

It was my sad task this past week to officiate at the funerals of two members of this church: Paul Barnes and Annabel Toomey.

Our faith community was enriched by the presence of these two people, and we were blessed to have known them.

Paul – a man of deep faith, who had a gift for connecting with people, who had a servant’s heart and the ability to see God in the face of each person, whose health problems had only deepened his relationship with God.

Annabel – who had also struggled with health problems and other challenges over the years but had demonstrated resilience and optimism and an enduring faith in God.

Yes, it was a sad task to say good-bye to these two people, but it was also for me an honor to officiate at their services, for these two people blessed my life, and I am richer for having known them.

You might be interested to know that I do quite a few funerals for people I have never met. I will get a call from a funeral home asking me to officiate at the service of someone who was not connected to a church, but the family feels the need to have a clergy person in their time of need. Even in the midst of great sorrow, the death of a loved one can be a moment of grace in which God’s loving, comforting, peace-filled presence is welcome. It can be a holy and transformative experience in which those enduring the loss can be assured beyond measure that they are being held -- and will always be held -- in the love of God that surpasses our human understanding.

And what words can a pastor say about a person she did not know? How can she authentically make a connection between God and someone who did not belong to a faith community or attend worship or identify with a religious tradition?

For me, the grace-filled answer is found in this morning’s scripture lesson. “… love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God… God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.”

The eternal truth of this passage is that God and love are synonymous. Whether or not we embrace the institutional church, God embraces us with unconditional, infinite, and eternal love. Anyone who loves knows God. We know how to love because God loved us first. We are connected to God by love. Anytime we love each other, God is there; any place we see love, we see God; anywhere there is love, we live in God’s heart. God dwells in us, and we dwell in God.

Now, if I ended this sermon right here, that would probably be a pretty decent message to take away today. After all, if we know nothing else about God except that “God is love,” then we’ve got the big lesson covered. And an appropriate message for this Mother’s Day since ideally, our first experience of God's love for us in this world comes from our mothers.

Actually, there’s another good Mother’s Day message in this passage. “We love because He first loved us.” Isn’t that like a mother? In the best of circumstances, a mother’s love is nearly instinctual: she loves her child long before that child is able to love back; her heart both leaps and aches for the hope and promise of new life; she pours her heart out to her child long before the child can say “thank you.” And so does God.

But, there more packed into this scripture lesson. John the Evangelist also tells us that: “perfect love casts out fear.”

The word “perfect” can be off-putting because it hints at failure even before we’ve begun. But “perfect” does not mean in this instance flawless, or expert, or ideal. A better translation is mature. “Mature love casts out fear.”

How do we develop that kind of mature love for God, the kind of love that is so full it gathers trust, hope, and peace up into it, too? We do it by growing in relationship with God through Christ. We do it by becoming disciples.

You have heard me talk a lot about discipleship this past year. Because for too long churches – not just this church, but most churches – have seemed to lose their focus on the Good News of Jesus Christ and instead put too much focus on recruiting new members in order to fill board vacancies and increase the number of pledging units. That’s what is known as a “membership model” of church. But the vitality and health of a church is measured not in breadth but rather in depth; not in superficial numbers but rather in spiritual growth.

Consider this church’s new member statistics. During my first three years here, we received 51 new members into our church. Sounds like a lot, right? But these days, only one third of those new members have strong connections and commitment to this church. The other two-thirds either attend sporadically or have disappeared altogether. What is the point of receiving 51 new members into this church if this is not the place where they will grow in relationship with God through Christ?

A church that is focused on making disciples takes a different approach. In discipleship model churches, growth is measured not in numbers but in depth of faith. And a church whose primary goal is to make disciples for Jesus Christ is a church where people are more intentionally focused on building and deepening their relationship with Jesus Christ and helping others to do the same. That is mature love. That is perfect love.

And that is what is reflected in a church full of disciples. Our calling, here in this community, is to become mature Christians. Not perfect, mind you. But mature, meaning we have a relationship with Christ that has been deepened through prayer, nurtured in communal worship, and fed on Holy Scripture. Thos are the ancient practices which enables the first century church to grow and spread the gospel throughout the world, and to keep the gospel message alive and relevant in the 21st century, we must reclaim these marks of discipleship.

And the heart of a mature Christian who has grown closer to God through these practices will reflect the perfect love that God through Christ has for us and commands us to have for others – a love that focuses not on members but on people and relationships; a love that is not about filling board vacancies but about serving others within and beyond the walls of this church; a love that doesn’t just try to meet a budget but practices generosity daily, because it knows that this is the way to cast out fear, this is the way to break open heaven and let it pour all over earth.

As we remember the love of our mothers today, let us also remember the One who first loved us, the One from whom love comes, the One who created us in love, the One who is love, the One who, out of love, sent us Jesus to show us how to love. And let us in turn share that love as Christ’s disciples, that God might live in us and God’s love might be perfected in us. Amen.

¹Rev. Dr. William L. Self, “Doubt – The Prelude to Faith,” Day 1 Broadcast, April 15, 2007.