at the First Congregational Church of Stoughton

United Church of Christ

Colin, Ben, Spencer, and John:

Our congratulations and God’s blessing to each one of you, our confirmands in the class of 2009! It is hard to believe that our time together has drawn to a close. Over the past two years, we have talked a lot, studied a lot, and I remember we had a few laughs or two. We have asked difficult questions and -- I hope -– offered satisfactory answers, and I must say I have learned much from you, as I hope you have from Steve and myself.

We thank you for your faithful and attentive presence and hope on this very important day you feel that your faith and identity as a Christian has taken on new depth and meaning. Because today, you have said “Yes!” to God.

And in saying “Yes!” to God, I hope that -- from this moment on -- you will look at the events in your life in a different way. When something difficult or awful or surprisingly wonderful happens to you from this day on, I hope that instead of simply asking “Why?,” you will ask yourself deeper questions, such as “Why is God saying this to me,” and “What is God teaching me now?”

But there may be times when you have different questions about God, when you feel unable to say “Yes, God!” Sometimes you may ask, “Who are you, God?” or “Where are you, God?” These are important questions, and I hope you don’t try to suppress them, thinking that they demonstrate a lack of faith on your part.

Because the fact of the matter is, we all have times of doubt when it comes to our faith. But doubt is not the opposite of faith; rather it is a prelude to it. That’s what the Easter story shows us. In all the Gospel accounts of the Easter story – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John – there is doubt, and lots of it. Mary Magdalene and the other women do not believe the words of the angels who tell them the news of the resurrection; they must see the Risen Christ for themselves to believe.

And when the women then tell the disciples what they have seen, the disciples don’t believe their words. Even though they have been with Jesus during his Galilean ministry; even though they have heard him preach and teach and seen him heal and perform miracles; even though he has told them repeatedly that he would die and rise again on the third day, Jesus’ disciples are complete skeptics when it comes to the Resurrection. Skeptics, that it, until they see the Risen Christ for themselves.

That encounter takes place in this morning’s Gospel lesson from John, the evening of that first Easter Day. Ten of the disciples are huddled together in anxiety and fear, behind locked doors in a room somewhere in Jerusalem.

It is hard for us to imagine how they must have been feeling. The man they called the Messiah has been crucified, and now his body is missing from the tomb. Some have been saying that Jesus is alive again, but there are also rumors that his body has been stolen. The disciples may believe there is now a price on their heads. And so they have huddled together, not only in fear of the religious authorities, but also with guilt over their own faithless words and actions; the last time some of these men saw Jesus, they were glancing back over their shoulders as they ran in the opposite direction. Suddenly, the Risen Christ appears in the room with them, saying “Peace be with you!”

As I mentioned, only ten of the twelve disciples are gathered in that room on that first Easter evening. Two days earlier, Judas Iscariot watched as his betrayal led to Jesus’ arrest and crucifixion and – filled with remorse – Judas hanged himself.

And the other missing disciple is Thomas. We don’t know where Thomas was that first Easter evening, but whatever his reasons, he misses this dramatic experience of the Risen Christ. The disciples later tell him, "We have seen the Lord!" but like the women who didn’t believe the angels’ words, and the disciples who didn’t believe women’s words, Thomas is unpersuaded. "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side,” he says, “I will not believe it." He has seen Jesus die, and the eyewitness testimony of his ten close friends is not enough to convince Thomas; he must have a personal encounter with the Risen Christ to believe that Jesus is alive again.

And so, Jesus makes a return appearance the following Sunday – repeating the whole Easter evening scene for Thomas’ benefit. And rather than chastising Thomas for his doubt and disbelief, Jesus affirms Thomas in his doubting and helps him move beyond it to faith. Jesus invites Thomas to do what he needs to do in order to be convinced – to see and touch for himself the marks of the nails that prove the figure before him is the man who has been crucified. When Thomas places his fingers in the wounds of Jesus – when he has an experience of the Risen Christ – he exclaims “My Lord and My God!” In doing so, Thomas is the first to speak the truth that has been revealed on the cross: that Jesus is Lord and God.

It might surprise you to realize how Jesus’ followers doubt when they are first told of the resurrection, because we tend to think that doubt is a negative, especially in the context of faith. But for faith to be honest and mature, it must be examined and tested. Doubt has been called “the skeleton in the closet of faith,” and for each of us to have a faith of integrity and truth, we need to bring our doubts of the closet. Doubt is not the absence of faith, but rather stands in tension with faith. Doubt challenges faith to move to a deeper and more honest level.

As poet Kahlil Gibran observed, "Doubt is pain, too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother." It is interesting imagery to refer to faith and doubt as twins, for Thomas’ Greek name is Didymus, which means "twin.” That nickname may be metaphorical because Thomas embodies so clearly this dual nature of faith and doubt. Maybe Thomas actually does have a twin. Or perhaps he's called Didymus because we are his twin, for Thomas’ story is our story, too.

Colin, Ben, Spencer and John – during our time together, I have shared with you some of my own experiences growing up in the church, as well as my long alienation from all things religious.

But during my twenty years away from the church, my faith was tested by real life. And during my period of alienation, and because of my times of doubt, I was able to reconstruct my faith and re-form my theology belief by belief, making my faith my own as it was confronted illness and loss and heartache. It can be in our loneliness and desperation, in the most heartbreaking moments of our lives, that we can find God, that we can finally recognize the face of Jesus, that we can experience the living Christ. And that’s what happened to me. My faith is now sure, solid, unwavering and authentic not in spite of my doubt, but because of it.

I suspect that at one time or another, many of you -- like Thomas, like me -- have had doubts about matters of faith. Colin, Ben, Spencer, and John – we all have doubts. We have questions about God, Jesus, the Bible, the Christian faith. We want to know: Is God really there? Why is there so much evil in the world? Why do loved ones get sick and die? It’s natural for us to have these kinds of questions – we’re wired to inquire, to think, to sort out things. And rather than being faith-less, these questions are stepping stones to faith. As one preacher puts it, “Doubt is like a front porch; all of us go through it before we get into the house of faith.”¹

Times of doubt do and will come for all of us, as they came for Thomas. But just as growth can come through pain, so can faith come through doubt. And our doubts and questions can lead us to a deeper, stronger, and more lasting faith. Colin, Ben, Spencer, and John – I hope that when you have doubts, you will also use them to test the truth of what you’ve been told in Sunday School and in Confirmation Class and here in this sanctuary, by teachers and mentors and pastors, and that, as a result, you will develop a deeper faith, discovering the meaning of God through Christ in your lives, just as Doubting Thomas did.

My prayer for each of our confirmands, and for every one of you, is that you have the courage to face and give words to your doubts, so that you may come to faith as Thomas did, and be able to say from the bottom of your hearts, “Yes, God!” Amen.

¹Rev. Dr. William L. Self, “Doubt – The Prelude to Faith,” Day 1 Broadcast, April 15, 2007.